[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”explanation”]123rf.com[/featured-image] All three of my jobs — pastor, professor, and therapist — require me to explain things. I explain constantly. Explanation is a critical part of teaching. A teacher who is unwilling to explain will not be very effective. But explanation, at some point, and often insidiously, crosses over into defensiveness.Continue reading “The Explanation Trap”
Tag Archives: defensiveness
Nothing to Protect
[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”nothing to protect — man under umbella”]123rf.com[/featured-image] One of the things I have learned is that I have nothing to protect. Everything in me I seek to protect and defend is false anyway. My ego, my sensitivities, my vanity, my guilt and regrets — none of it is going to last.Continue reading “Nothing to Protect”
Self-protection kills intimacy
Intimacy and self-protection are mutually exclusive It has occurred to me recently how often my clients and parishioners are living in a defensive mode, trying to protect themselves from perceived attack/abuse by a loved one. This is a natural instinct, of course, but ironic, since self-protection kills intimacy. Intimacy comes from vulnerability, willingness to openContinue reading “Self-protection kills intimacy”
Temp Arbor 