temparbor

The Explanation Trap

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”explanation”]123rf.com[/featured-image] All three of my jobs — pastor, professor, and therapist — require me to explain things. I explain constantly. Explanation is a critical part of teaching. A teacher who is unwilling to explain will not be very effective. But explanation, at some point, and often insidiously, crosses over into defensiveness.Continue reading “The Explanation Trap”

Feeling Judged

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”my proof of disability”] Yesterday I went to the Secretary of State’s office and picked up a handicapped parking placard. It’s incredible how difficult the process can be. Not in terms of complexity, just that both times I have had to get one of these I’ve had to endure lectures fromContinue reading “Feeling Judged”

Game-Changers

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false”]123rf.com[/featured-image] When I was younger, I had a lot of answers. Now I’m older, and I have a lot of questions. The few things I feel like I know, I know with more confidence than before. Here are things I know from experiences I have had that have radically changed my view of GodContinue reading “Game-Changers”

Nothing to Protect

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”nothing to protect — man under umbella”]123rf.com[/featured-image] One of the things I have learned is that I have nothing to protect. Everything in me I seek to protect and defend is false anyway. My ego, my sensitivities, my vanity, my guilt and regrets — none of it is going to last.Continue reading “Nothing to Protect”

Why I Need Your Grace

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”authenticity, vulnerability, and grace”]123rf.com[/featured-image] We all need grace. I try to extend mine to everyone at all times. Here are some reasons why I need yours. I’m a flawed person. I am a flawed pastor, flawed teacher, flawed therapist, flawed husband and father. As charming and charismatic as I have learnedContinue reading “Why I Need Your Grace”

The Purpose of this Blog

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”purpose of this blog”]123rf.com[/featured-image] Years ago I made a decision about my purpose on earth, and that has become the purpose of this blog. It is to guide and inspire those who willingly come seeking guidance from me, based on my life, experiences, and best understanding of both God and myContinue reading “The Purpose of this Blog”

On Suffering, Loss, and Being Okay

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”suffering”]123rf.com[/featured-image] I’m developing a capacity for suffering, for losing people I love, and yet I know deep down that I will be okay. In fact, I know it because of the suffering and loss. I know you’ll be okay too. I want to share with you how I’ve come to know this. AContinue reading “On Suffering, Loss, and Being Okay”

Evangelicals Support Torture — Isn’t That Weird?

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”supporting torture”]Dick Cheney, Torture Apologist in Chief[/featured-image] Isn’t it weird that evangelicals support torture? Apparently the majority of people in the U.S. are fine with it, including the majority of evangelical Christians. I wanted to put the word “Christians” in quotes, like I just did, but I know some of theseContinue reading “Evangelicals Support Torture — Isn’t That Weird?”

America’s Problem with Race

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”Eric Garner – America’s problem with race”]Eric Garner being killed by police[/featured-image] Studies have shown for years that there is a gross disparity between how white people are treated by the police, vs black people. And yet, when black people complain there is a problem, white people automatically start insisting thatContinue reading “America’s Problem with Race”

Christian dildos?

[featured-image link=”null” link_single=”inherit” single_newwindow=”false” alt=”christian dildos? attractive copule”]123rf.com[/featured-image] If the title wasn’t enough to tip you off, this post is rated PG-13 This post by a writer and thinker I respect really got me thinking today. This is one of those cases that shows the absurdity that lies at the heart of too much ofContinue reading “Christian dildos?”